


Halfway

by DarlingAry



Category: Amelie: A New Musical (Broadway Cast) RPF, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Amelie a new Musical, Amélie AU, Connor is a photographer, Connor works in a sex shop, Evan dresses as a preist to aviod problems, Evan really needs to stop running away, Evan works at a Cafe, Jared and Alana are protective parents, Jared gives good advice, M/M, Zoe owns said sex shop?, do not hurt evan, idk it's cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 11:05:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12556052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingAry/pseuds/DarlingAry
Summary: “Who are you?”“I’m a- a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, trapped in a paradox,” Evan blurted, his words rushed.“Yeah...Yeah, me too.”“Solve Zeno’s paradox,” he gasped into the phone before hanging up.Connor stared at the phone, speaking to no one but himself, “I think I will.”-------Connor forgets his album and Evan desperately wants to meet him halfway.





	Halfway

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Hope you like it. Sorry if it's kind of jumpy. I couldn't really get my thoughts together. Also, if you know this musical, then you know it's amazing. Pippa is a 10/10 amazing vocalist and actress. Let's petition for a tour.

The subway was not the most elegant or enchanting place that Evan’s mind’s eye could fathom, but the lack of sanitation hardly bothered the young man. No, what bothered him about the filth that was the subway, was the boy on his hands and knees, reaching under, in hopes to fix the broken and dinky little photo booth with black, velvet curtains. For a moment, he let his mind wander to what the velvet might feel like between his fingers, the smooth, yet kind of course fabric. 

 

Oh god, but what kind of germs does something like that have? And why is there a photo booth in the middle of a subway station? Who would use it? Maybe that is why the boy kneeled on the floor. Maybe the man in the long black jacket had felt passionatly about the booth, or, alternatively, he was sabotaging any chance at its restoration. 

 

Then, the man sprang up, holding a camera lens in hand, grinning with success. His long hair was pulled into a bun on his head, accentuating the high cheekbones he had. Wow. He was handsome, especially for a guy who was just on the disgusting floor. He fixed his jacket before looking up at the clock, mounted across the way on the wall. “Fuck!”

 

Well, that wasn’t language Evan liked, but he let the handsome man go. Why would he say anything, right? The man took off, jumping on the subway before it could leave without him. Evan shook his head. There were all sorts of characters on the subway. Good grief. 

 

Wait. What was that? Red leather with gold accents, all bound together in a fancy looking album. Huh. Evan made his way to it, carefully picking it up as if he was afraid of the germs on it, but also that he might break it. He looked up, looking at the subway that the boy had just gone into and his heart bounded, an odd, weird rhythm he hadn’t experienced in a long time. The boy with the long hair stared back at him, making Evan wonder if his heart was doing the same thing, but he couldn’t think too long. 

 

He watched the panic grow in the other’s eyes, watching them widen as he realized that Evan was now holding the leather book, the book containing his photography, his precious images detailing the world as he envisioned it. Evan felt a bit guilty, but he couldn’t help himself from slowly cracking the book open. 

 

There were faces of people, each one different, much of them from that same dinky photobooth. Each moment different, highlighting and framing different moments from people's lives, all encapsulated in five little photos in a strip. More than that, there were pictures of him. Pictures of the man with the bun, staring into the bright lights, but most of them had the eyes scratched out, or pictures were torn.

 

* * *

 

Where else would Evan turn other than to Jared? Okay, so there were a lot of places to turn with this particular problem, but Jared happened to live in his apartment building, so there he was, sitting in the apartment of his childhood friend, the red leather book in hand. 

 

“So, basically, you found some serial killer book?”

 

“Jared! Why would you think he’s a serial killer?!”

 

“Think about it, he’s got a book with torn up pictures and random people in it. Those are victims, Evan,” Jared shrugged. “Plus, you’ve seen him multiple times in the subway, always under that stupid booth. He’s nuts.”

 

“Maybe he’s searching for something? Maybe he’s dead.Not literally dead, obviously, but like...dead. Maybe he takes pictures to convince himself he is alive, but can’t get passed the hopeless look in his eye so he just keeps staring at it, hoping it will change every time he looks at it an-” 

 

“Hey look. Connor Murphy. It says it on the back with a return address,” he tapped it. “How did you not see this sooner?” 

 

“I-I didn’t look,” Evan scratched the back of his neck, shifting with discomfort. 

 

“Right. Well, just return it to him and pretend you didn’t go through it.”

 

“Oh. Yeah, that’s the right thing to do.”

 

“Or you could keep it and continue to pretend like you relate to this guy you don’t even know,” Jared raised an eyebrow at Evan. “Or you could become a priest and live your life free of romantic ties. Take your pick.” 

 

“Fine. I’ll return it.” 

* * *

 

One might ask how Evan ended up in a sex shop, standing between shelves of lube and lingerie, dressed like a priest. It’s better not to ask, but rather to wonder, what he planned on doing. Evan didn’t know and he certainly did not have a plan. All he could think was, maybe if he appeared as a priest, maybe his heart wouldn’t do that thing it did when he saw the man with the long hair. 

 

“Hello...father?” A young woman came behind the counter. “Can I help you?” To say she was confused would be an understatement. She had seen a lot of odd people in the sex shop, all asking for weird things, but a priest took the cake. She was very pretty. She had long brown hair that got lighter at the tips as if it had once died. She wore a loose floral blouse, looking almost like a hippie. 

 

“What? No. I- Oh my God- Goodness. I-I-I’m looking for Connor Murphy,” he held up the book, not realizing how stupid this whole thing was. His heart raced, both pleasantly and unpleasantly as the name rolled off his lips. 

 

“Oh my God- gosh. Sorry father, this book! That’s my brother’s! He’s been looking for it and honestly kind of freaking out all week,” she smiled. “He’s downstairs checking inventory. I’ll go get him. He is going to be thrilled.” 

 

“Yes- thank you…”

 

“Zoe! My name is Zoe,” she smiled. “I’ll just be a minute.” Zoe opened a door, heading down to the basement where the man was. 

 

Oh no. Evan was dressed as a priest. The pretty man with the hair and the cheekbones would come upstairs and see him and think he was a priest, and Evan wasn’t really interested in being taken as a priest, so why did he dress like on in the first place!? 

 

So, he had three options. A) Leave the book somewhere between the lube and the lingerie and bolt. B) Stay and let him think Evan was a priest. Or C) Run with the book. He wasn’t really done with the boy- the book, he wasn’t done with the book. Why wouldn’t he be done with the boy? It was just a boy with pretty hair and nice cheekbones. If he returned the book, then whatever this was- the eye contact three prior times in the subway and the pleasant thrumming in his heart- it would be done and he couldn’t explain why, but he wasn’t quite ready for it to all be over. 

 

He made a move to the door, but his legs refused to move. No, Evan, no. Not now. So, he could stay right here and rip the collar off and say ‘Hi, my name is Evan. Here’s your book. Nice place. You work here? Let’s keep in touch.” But that’s way too much. Run Away. Just get out the door! 

 

He pulled the collar from his neck, fastening it to a nearby mannequin before running out the door, leather book in hand. 

 

“I swear he was just here,” Zoe explained. 

 

Connor stared at the collar on the mannequin, “Wait….WAIT GUY FROM THE SUBWAY!” He bolted out the door, but Evan was craftily hidden behind a wall, exhaling as he had successfully avoided the man.

 

* * *

  
  


“It’s Zeno’s paradox, Evan,” his mom had explained as he struggled to work through homework, sitting at his kitchen table. “Things can be split into halves. Think of it like a boat. The boat is sailing towards a lighthouse, but every time he is halfway there, there is halfway more to go. And halfway from that. And halfway from that...on and on. Two things never touch. “

“That’s sad, mom,” the child rested his chin on his hand and huffed. “And it will always only be halfway there.”

 

“Well, according to Zeno’s paradox...yes.”

* * *

  
  


Jared’s apartment was very him. It was painted to look modern and upscale. He had what he called a feature wall? It was a different color than all the other walls, making it pop. Sure, okay. That worked. Jared, being decently well off, had most every game console he could get his hands on. He was a computer scientist and probably shouldn’t be living in these shabby apartments, but he was. It’s not like the place was bad. 

 

Evan loved his own weird little place. The doors looked a bit crooked, everything did actually. Nothing was perfectly straight or measured, but neither was Evan, in any sense of the analogy. He didn’t really keep much stuff, but the things he did have was in its place and tidy. 

 

“So, let me get this straight,” Jared said, kicking his legs up on his black ottoman. “You didn’t give it back...and you dressed like a priest?” 

 

“That makes it sound a lot wor- No, it was pretty bad. I just didn’t know what to do. I got there and everything looked so...wow. I’d never even been in a store like that and now I was dressed as a priest. If I had stayed, he would think I was chaste.”

 

“And?”

 

“And I- I'm not  _ that  _ chaste.”

 

“You are, but sure. Okay. what are you going to do now?” 

 

“I-I don’t know, but I have to eventually give him this back. Zoe- his sister- she said he missed it.”

 

“You met his sister,” Jared laughed. “She probably thinks you’re nuts. Oh my god, if she ever sees you again she is going to be so confused.”

 

“You are not helping,” Evan rubbed his temples, trying to sort his thoughts. 

* * *

  
  


“Hello? This is Connor, how may I help you?”

 

Evan panicked and hung up. No, Evan, you have to call and tell him you have his book.”

“Hello? This is Connor...don’t han-”

 

Evan hung up. Get it together. Just tell him you have his book. 

 

“Hello! Listen if you have my book I want it ba-”

 

Evan really needed to stop hanging up. It wasn’t his fault though, he was always halfway there. He could take a step closer, but be two back, never reaching where he wanted to, always just out of reach. Every time he got closer to talking to the boy, he froze up and couldn’t do it. 

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I’m a- a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, trapped in a paradox,” Evan blurted, his words rushed. 

 

“Yeah...Yeah, me too.”

 

“Solve Zeno’s paradox,” he gasped into the phone before hanging up. 

 

Connor stared at the phone, speaking to no one but himself, “I think I will.”

 

* * *

 

Zoe came into work the next morning, an envelope in hand. “Hey asshole, this is for you.” She tossed it over to Connor who caught it, looking at the shaky handwriting with his name on the front. He made quick work of opening it. 

 

“Five PM. Park Carousel.”

 

“Hey Zoe, I think I need to get off early today,” he looked up at his sister, who just raised an eyebrow. “I have to meet a friend at five at the carousel in the park.”

 

* * *

  
  


The carousel was beautiful. It was white with silver and gold accents. The horses themselves were beautiful, clearly hand painted porcelain. It was intricate, the horses going round and round merrily, swirls of vibrant color standing out in stark contrast to the white of the carousel. 

 

Evan had a plan just as intricate as the horses and just as consistent as the round and round of the horses. Poor Connor. 

 

When he got there a man tapped him on the shoulder, a blue arrow pointing him to a set of steps, when he got there, a woman holding a newspaper opened it, revealed another blue arrow, pointing to the top of the bridge. Evan stood at the top hiding in a blue trench coat, but he looked off the edge of the bridge, keeping his head down. The man next to hiholdingld up an arrow, sending him into the cafe next to the park. 

 

Evan worked at that particular cafe and his boss, Alana, just raised a knowing eyebrow when she was asked to hand Connor a cupcake with an arrow, pointing him back out the door. He was slowly growing frustrated, but the thrumming in his heart was enough to keep him racing down the back towards the carousel where a small child holding an arrow pointed him to a statue. He went to it and stared confused. The same child tugged at his jacket, “Mister, the statue is pointing up. Only a fool stares at a finger when someone is pointing up.” 

 

He felt silly and looked up to see a pay telescope on the bridge and ran to it. He found two quarters waiting neatly on top for him, so he wasted no time placing them in the machine and peaking in. He looked around, seeing nothing interesting at first. 

 

Then a bit of red caught his eye. His book! And it was in the hands of the boy from the subway! He started heading towards him. “Hey! Thank you so much! Stay please. Don’t- please, don’t run away this time.” 

 

Evan considered this. He could stay there and happily give the boy his book, maybe have a nice conversation with him. It would be nice and he wouldn’t be alone, but no. Screw that! Here he comes with the nice hair and cheekbones. Run away!

 

He left the book on the ground and bolted, running off as quick as he could. Connor was going to chase after him, but there was his book. He bent down and picked it up. A picture fell out of it, floating down to the floor. He bent down and picked it up. 

 

Eyes, beautiful eyes. They were sad, but just slightly so. They also held hope, wonder, and innocence. They looked so alive and he was taken back by the picture, framing just those eyes. It was like everything he had been missing when he looked at his own photos. It was captured here. The wonder and beauty of life. Wow. 

 

He had to find these eyes. 

* * *

  
  


“I’ve been thinking,” Alana sighed as she looked at Evan. “You’ve worked here for years, and yet you never leave. You never go out or have fun or date. You don’t chase bigger things and I think you have the potential for more than this cafe. 

 

“Am I fired?”

 

“Evan, no. No, stay as long as you need, but maybe you should consider chasing your dreams, or at least maybe going on a date? That boy who came in here, he was handsome. Plus, he went along with your wild scavenger hunt.”

 

“I know, it was stupid and I-”

 

“The point is, he went through all that chaos and I don’t think it was just for his book. Why would anyone go rounds like that?” 

 

“I guess so,” he sighed and nodded. 

 

“Look, take the night off, okay? Go out and do something! Call that boy.”

 

* * *

  
  


“I have to find him,” Connor sighed, rolling his eyes at Zoe as they hung flyers. 

 

“But like this? Connor, nothing good can come of this.” 

 

“But maybe if I find him- I don’t know. I just-”

 

“I get it,” Zoe patted his shoulder. “I don’t like it, but I get it.” she stapled a flyer with the picture to the light post. 

 

“Is it silly to hope?” Connor looked at his shoe, kicking some dirt. 

 

“Hope is like a candle. It shines bright and we can always put it away, store it for later. Or, we can use it to stay warm, but sometimes, it’s work burning through, ya know?”

 

“You’re a fucking hippie,” he messed up her hair. 

 

“And you’re a romantic, so suck it.”

* * *

  
  


Evan shoved his phone into his back pocket, stepping out into the cold, crisp air of the night. The moon was bright and the shy sparkled with the stars above. He headed down the road, but stopped in his tracks, pivoting in what would be comical, had his heart not fallen down to his feet. 

 

There he was, his eyes, stapled to a post asking if anyone had seen this man. Oh my god. Connor. Connor was- he was looking for him. Oh my god. 

 

He sprinted to his apartment, running faster than he ever could. He slammed his door and fell onto his couch, struggling to breathe. No, he couldn’t be looked for. He would always be halfway there, never fully able to touch. 

* * *

  
  


“Hello, this is Connor. How may I help you?” His voice sounded hopeful. No, Evan, he isn’t hopeful. Stop that. 

 

“Cafe next to the park at two?” 

 

“Cafe next to the park at two.” Click. Evan hung up, exhaling. “Zoe...I’m gonna need to leave early again.”

 

 

* * *

  
  


Evan sat at the table, his heart thrumming violently as the clock struck two. No Connor. Evan looked at the wall clock again, then at his phone clock, then at his watch, all of them reading two. He waited another minute before looking up at the wall clock, then his phone clock, then his watch, all reading one after….Connor was late. 

 

Maybe he forgot or mixed up his times? Maybe Evan had already missed him by only coming into work a few hours early. Maybe his watch was broken. Well, if his watch was broken, then he must have had to get it fixed, probably at the shop that waited across the tracks. He could have gotten lost in thought when he crossed the tracks and a train came barrelling towards him! His body would flood with courage, stopping his heart!

 

Even then, maybe he would survive. He’d even get his watch fixed and be rehabilitated by a beautiful woman nurse named Nora. She’d bathe him with a sponge and teach him to walk again, helping him to his knee when he would propose to her and- no. This was all unlikely and the anxiety talking. 

 

Who has time for a boy like Connor, a boy who can’t tell time?” 

 

Evan stood sadly, fixing his apron as he took the flower off the table, sitting behind the counter. Suddenly the bell to the store dinged, and his heart began to thrum again. He turned and there he was, Connor, standing there looking pretty as ever. 

 

Evan quickly grabbed the washable glass marker and ran behind one of their glass stands which would read the specials. He started writing on it, hoping Connor wouldn’t notice him. God he was so stupid. 

 

Alana looked at Evan, then back at Connor, then back to Evan. She held out an arm, pointing to Evan behind the glass. Connor nodded gratefully before going over, tapping softly. He held up the picture of Evan’s eyes. “Is this you?”

 

Evan couldn’t find the words to speak, so he just shook his head. 

 

“Yes it is! It is you. You’re the boy from the subway and who found my book.”

 

“N-no. N-o I’m not,” he ran off, running straight into the bathroom. 

 

Connor, for his part, was more than mildly annoyed. “Fuck it. I’m not playing anymore games.” He turned on his heel to leave, stomping out the door. Why did his heart ache with the further he got? Alana chased after him, grabbing his elbow. 

 

“You have to come back! You see he- He has an anxiety  _ issue  _ and growing up, he never really had a dad and his mom was trying to be both parents. He never really got the whole human interaction thing, so he hides. Just- please come back. Talk to him.”

* * *

  
  


Evan came out of the bathroom a few moments later, taking a deep breathe,”where is Connor?”

 

“He left,” Jared said from where he had been sitting behind the counter. “Dude, you ran into the bathroom like you had to throw up. Maybe he’s tired of chasing you. Maybe instead of living through other people, you need to live through yourself.”

 

“Maybe you should stop picking at other people to solve your own insecurities,” he blurted, but realizing how mean it was, he once again ran, leaving the cafe to the safe isolation of his apartment.

 

* * *

  
  


As Connor came back into the cafe, he was shoved into a seat by Alana. “He’ll be out of the bathroom in a moment. First, I think we need to know your intentions with him.”

 

“My intentions?” Connor sighed heavily, leaning back into his seat, letting his shoulders slump. 

 

“Think of love like a diagnosis! Like bacterial vaginosis,” Alana started. 

 

“Or the plague,” Jared added. 

 

“Or the plague,” she agreed. “Once you’re with him, you’ve got to be committed to anything you’ve transmitted, aka, love. If you make him fall for you, you can’t just take it back.”

“His dad walked out,” Jared bit his lip, as if debating to continue. “He never really has had someone consistently there. We try..”

 

“We can’t give him the love he deserves. We can only be friends. You need to be that. You need to be loving and open and ready….If you are gonna be the guy, then be there, but don’t suffocate him.”

 

“Plus, you’re hot, but you might want to consider a hair cut,” Jared joked, earning a frightening glare from him. 

 

“Right….well, I can’t promise that we will live to eighty, or do it without breaking up or making each other miserable. That being said, I think if I met him, then he might be able to understand me and I- I don’t want to use the word love, but I have strong feelings and I don't even know his name.”

 

Jared and Alana stared at eachother, then at him. Jared quickly wrote on a napkin before handing it over to him. “His name is Evan, Evan Hansen. This is address and number. Knowing him, he is home now and waiting for you.” 

* * *

  
  


“Move to a small town where no one knows you. Change your name. Don’t pick up other people’s stuff and don’t return things,” Evan whined into the couch when a knock was heard at the door. “I-I- I’m sorry Jared, but I don’t want to talk right now.”

 

“Evan? It’s not Jared,” the voice behind the door spoke, causing Evan to jump to his feet. “It’s Connor. May I come in?”

 

“Yes. I mean no. No,” Evan shook his head. 

 

“Oh I guess I should go,” Connor looked down, defeated. 

 

“No! Stay, just stay where you are,” Evan spit out, mentally trying to figure out what to do. He could count to one hundred and hide, then tell him to come in. Though, he doubts he would play fair. “You took the breadcrumbs and I- I lost my way and the arrows pointed you around and...if you move close I’ll move far away and I like you right there.”

 

Evan pressed his face to the door where, on the other side, Connor had his pressed as well. “I hear you coming” Connor spoke softly. 

 

“Oh my god, my heart-” Evan started. 

 

“The thrumming,” Connor nodded, finishing. 

“I’m sorry I...I…” His phone buzzed and he looked down, reluctantly picking it up,” Jared? Now isn’t a good.”

 

“Evan. I’m in my apartment, I walked here with Connor. Just open the door. I know you enough to know you haven’t. Just do it,” he huffed. Evan said nothing, just thought over it. “As much as I want to stay on the phone, you’re running out of time, bud. He’s going to walk away.” 

 

Evan hung up, quickly tossing his phone aside before throwing the door open. Connor stared at him, awe written across his face as their eyes met. For the first time in a while, Connor’s eyes filled with hope and wonder, all the innocence and purity that Evan’s held. He moved to step in, but the other boy held out a hand to stop him. 

 

“I’m only halfway. I will always be only halfway there. No matter how close you try to get, I’ll always be a step away. I don’t know how to do this without a game or a riddle or...I don’t know how to stop hiding.”

 

“I’ve solved Zeno’s paradox, Evan. I can show you, but I not if I stay where I am.” 

 

Evan nodded, letting his hands fall to his side. Connor took a step closer, and Evan took a step closer, both of them taking steps closer until they were almost touching, their eye contact never wavering. Before allowing himself to run away, Evan took ahold of Connor’s shoulders, pulling him inside and shutting the door, pressing his own back against it. 

 

Connor stared in shock, finally face to face with the boy he had been so desperately chasing. He was the life missing from his photos, he was the window to the world now open. He had him frozen in place unable to move. 

 

Evan reached up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Then he pressed a kiss to his neck then forehead. Rather than snap Connor out of it, he seemed to have made it worse, so he tapped his own cheek, blushing as he received a kiss there, then he tapped his neck, then he got one there, and then his forehead, receiving one last one there. 

 

They stared at each other once more before kissing softly, Evan’s hands going around Connor’s neck, and Connor’s around Evan’s waist.

 

“I think- I think you’ve solved it,” Evan blushed, resting his head against Connor’s shoulder. 

 

“Zeno’s paradox is a load of crap.” 

 

Evan grinned before gasping, “Oh! Oh! Oh, follow me.” He held his hand out to Connor, who gladly took it. 

 

He dragged him out the door and down the street into the subway station before placing his hands over the taller boy’s eyes. “Evan...what’s going on…. ?” 

 

He walked him over to the dinky, germ infested photobooth. “Tada!”

 

“Evan, it’s broken. I’ve been trying to fix it for months.”

 

“Actually, the repairman was here this morning. I was going to take you here after the cafe, but…”

 

Connor silenced him with a kiss before pulling him into the booth for pictures. From then on, the moment would be frozen in time and when Connor looked through his album, rather than looking at torn up moments and dead eyes, he would see Evan, the ball of life that he had been waiting to see, and he would see himself, finally alive. 

 

It turns out, Zeno’s paradox was completely solvable and that maybe they didn’t know where to go from here, but if they were only halfway there, they would do it together. That’s what really mattered. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you guys thought! I really love feedback. Just so everyone is clear, I am going through a lot right now and I replies and things will take a long time.


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